Some thoughts on the New Year
Or, "Six New Year's Resolutions for YOU".
As I begin writing this it's 12.20pm...I'm in the final 12-hour stretch to 2009. The Christmas Islands, New Zealand, Tonga and Phoenix Islands have already welcomed the New Year in and in about half an hour Fiji, Marshall Islands, Nauru, Tuvalu, Kiribati and parts of Russia will join them. So, my final post of 2008 is basically a list of guidelines for everyone else because, quite frankly, mankind has been so horrible in 2008 that unless amends start to be made, I wouldn't be surprised if something DID happen on December 21st 2012. So, I've decided to set out a few resolutions you might choose to make. For the most part they're only related to me and the way you should act around me...but it's always a start. We have a whole year to work on wars, poverty, environmental degradation etc.
So, let's begin.
First of all...refrain from talking to me. In general. You're only setting yourself up for disappointment. HOWEVER, it's a free world...so if you choose to talk to me there are certain rules you have to follow. Mainly, don't comment about the way I look. At all. Because I really don't care. If you find me so attractive, I don't really need to know...I'm not dressing this way for you - but feel free to mention it anyway. However, if you find me repulsive, what the hell are you talking to me for? I was having a perfectly nice day until you decided to talk to me, which I accepted with my own good humour. But now, if you're going to stay commenting about my hair, clothes etc...you're just wasting my time. Let's get one thing straight. I don't care about what you think. Do I ever come up to you and comment about what you're wearing or your hairstyle? No, I don't. Because I know you don't really care about what I think (which incidentally, if you do...that's a whole separate problem). In short: LEAVE ME ALONE! Failing that: DON'T WASTE MY TIME WITH COMMENTS ABOUT MY APPEARANCE!
Next on the agenda. This mainly applies to North Americans and I say this in the name of all North American males. Ladies, we are NOT going to put down the toilet seat for you. In Malta, we put down the whole thing anyway, but in America you just put down the seat. Well...no more. You have hands, you have a brain, you have eyes - look before you sit and if the seat isn't down do something useful for once in your lives and put it down yourself! Do you ever put the seat up for us? No, you don't! Are you collectively slow or something? Women in Europe and Asia seem to know how to do it...what's wrong with you? Nuclear exposure? What??
Moving on...sort of. Back to people who, for some reason, choose to talk to me. We've covered comments about physical appearance...now we're going to discuss my replies. Bear in mind that YOU are the one who bothered ME, thus I have a right to ignore stupid questions and comments, or answer in anyway and tone I see fit. When I talk to you, I'll adjust it...fine and dandy. But if YOU initiate the conversation, don't expect me to answer you enthusiastically. I don't particularly enjoy the fact you have chosen to talk to me. I dislike it even more if you talk to me for no apparent profitable reason. You interrupted my perfectly decent thought process and if I want to mumble, snort, grunt or downright ignore you - I WILL!
On a related note, in the event I do choose to converse with you. LISTEN TO WHAT I'M SAYING! Don't make me repeat. Don't listen to me with predisposed expectation or beliefs. Don't contradict me. I may repeat once - to make sure you understood, but don't come back, five minutes later, after I wasted a decent amount of time telling you something and ask me to repeat! LISTEN!! You are allowed to contradict me once. After that, I may either say I am not sure, or tell you I am positive. If I am positive, don't you dare contradict me again. I'm telling you, I'm positive! When I say that, it means I am, without fail, right! So save me the trouble of high blood pressure and burst arteries/veins and just accept it. Basic principle here : I am always right. If I don't know the answer, I tell you that straight away.
This one here, is directed to all (well, not ALL) gay males. Enough with the pathetic voice and accent! Your homosexual situation does not affect your vocal chords...just your penis. You do not need to speak effeminately just to prove you're gay. Just tell us you are and that will be the end of it. Man up for goodness sake! There are plenty of gay guys who speak normally, dress normally and in general act in a way that wouldn't make their sexual orientation obvious, so why can't you do it! Oh...and stop plucking your eyebrows...seriously, it doesn't make you look cool. Neither does make up. Most important part of this resolution: you're free to be around me, as long as you abide by all rules in this blogpost, don't look anywhere below my chin, don't touch anybody part not related to the arm or do anything suggestive. Not that this has ever happened...but I felt I might as well set the ground rule before it does.
The final resolution. John Locke from Lost said: "Who are we to tell anyone what they can or can't do?" I want you to remember this...and apply it to yourselves, especially in relation to me. In fact, let me add a few terms "Should or shouldn't", "have to", "want to (unless it's a question)" and "Like or don't like to(unless it's a question)". I may have left a few out but basically - don't tell me what to do. I will do what I like and whatever I think benefits the collective. Read that again. What I think benefits the collective. Unless I ask you for your opinion, I don't give a damn about what you think benefits the collective. And for those of you telling me the university of Malta is great. BULLSHIT! You only have a right to say that if you've actually been there. And not a single person who has has told me that. So, to the rest of you who have never been in a course...not even part-time at the very minimum - SHUT UP! You don't know what it's like, so mind your own fucking business. And don't make excuses or invent sob stories - EVERYONE CAN GO! I don't care what Mintoff did...Mintoff lost power in the mid-80's and Mifsud Bonnici in 1987...since then you've all had the opportunity. Why you didn't take it,is probably more of a reflection on yourselves than on destiny. This applies to everything, not just university, of course, but until you've experienced it yourself - you have NO RIGHT to tell me what it's like. I've been there. I AM there even when I'm not physically there. SO ENOUGH! A final point on this university thing because it really gets under my shorts. People who say "You never gave it a chance...". WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I'M DOING NOW?? Walking there and walking back? Pretending I'm going? I gave it a chance...with low expectations. It didn't even meet those expectations so, as usual, I was proven right! Is the only way for me to be giving it a chance, to be proved wrong? I went with the same expectations for De La Salle Sixth Form but I was proven very wrong. The same cannot be said about university.
I realise I might as well have given the university its own blogpost...but it hardly seem worthy. Please...readers, abide by these resolutions. For your own good...and my own health.
Well...I guess this is Darryl, from Malta - Online hoping you'll have a happy new year...because I sure as hell won't.
Ps. Incidentally, the batch I mentioned above have just entered 2009. Next in line is Norfolk Island, 23 minutes away.
As I begin writing this it's 12.20pm...I'm in the final 12-hour stretch to 2009. The Christmas Islands, New Zealand, Tonga and Phoenix Islands have already welcomed the New Year in and in about half an hour Fiji, Marshall Islands, Nauru, Tuvalu, Kiribati and parts of Russia will join them. So, my final post of 2008 is basically a list of guidelines for everyone else because, quite frankly, mankind has been so horrible in 2008 that unless amends start to be made, I wouldn't be surprised if something DID happen on December 21st 2012. So, I've decided to set out a few resolutions you might choose to make. For the most part they're only related to me and the way you should act around me...but it's always a start. We have a whole year to work on wars, poverty, environmental degradation etc.
So, let's begin.
First of all...refrain from talking to me. In general. You're only setting yourself up for disappointment. HOWEVER, it's a free world...so if you choose to talk to me there are certain rules you have to follow. Mainly, don't comment about the way I look. At all. Because I really don't care. If you find me so attractive, I don't really need to know...I'm not dressing this way for you - but feel free to mention it anyway. However, if you find me repulsive, what the hell are you talking to me for? I was having a perfectly nice day until you decided to talk to me, which I accepted with my own good humour. But now, if you're going to stay commenting about my hair, clothes etc...you're just wasting my time. Let's get one thing straight. I don't care about what you think. Do I ever come up to you and comment about what you're wearing or your hairstyle? No, I don't. Because I know you don't really care about what I think (which incidentally, if you do...that's a whole separate problem). In short: LEAVE ME ALONE! Failing that: DON'T WASTE MY TIME WITH COMMENTS ABOUT MY APPEARANCE!
Next on the agenda. This mainly applies to North Americans and I say this in the name of all North American males. Ladies, we are NOT going to put down the toilet seat for you. In Malta, we put down the whole thing anyway, but in America you just put down the seat. Well...no more. You have hands, you have a brain, you have eyes - look before you sit and if the seat isn't down do something useful for once in your lives and put it down yourself! Do you ever put the seat up for us? No, you don't! Are you collectively slow or something? Women in Europe and Asia seem to know how to do it...what's wrong with you? Nuclear exposure? What??
Moving on...sort of. Back to people who, for some reason, choose to talk to me. We've covered comments about physical appearance...now we're going to discuss my replies. Bear in mind that YOU are the one who bothered ME, thus I have a right to ignore stupid questions and comments, or answer in anyway and tone I see fit. When I talk to you, I'll adjust it...fine and dandy. But if YOU initiate the conversation, don't expect me to answer you enthusiastically. I don't particularly enjoy the fact you have chosen to talk to me. I dislike it even more if you talk to me for no apparent profitable reason. You interrupted my perfectly decent thought process and if I want to mumble, snort, grunt or downright ignore you - I WILL!
On a related note, in the event I do choose to converse with you. LISTEN TO WHAT I'M SAYING! Don't make me repeat. Don't listen to me with predisposed expectation or beliefs. Don't contradict me. I may repeat once - to make sure you understood, but don't come back, five minutes later, after I wasted a decent amount of time telling you something and ask me to repeat! LISTEN!! You are allowed to contradict me once. After that, I may either say I am not sure, or tell you I am positive. If I am positive, don't you dare contradict me again. I'm telling you, I'm positive! When I say that, it means I am, without fail, right! So save me the trouble of high blood pressure and burst arteries/veins and just accept it. Basic principle here : I am always right. If I don't know the answer, I tell you that straight away.
This one here, is directed to all (well, not ALL) gay males. Enough with the pathetic voice and accent! Your homosexual situation does not affect your vocal chords...just your penis. You do not need to speak effeminately just to prove you're gay. Just tell us you are and that will be the end of it. Man up for goodness sake! There are plenty of gay guys who speak normally, dress normally and in general act in a way that wouldn't make their sexual orientation obvious, so why can't you do it! Oh...and stop plucking your eyebrows...seriously, it doesn't make you look cool. Neither does make up. Most important part of this resolution: you're free to be around me, as long as you abide by all rules in this blogpost, don't look anywhere below my chin, don't touch anybody part not related to the arm or do anything suggestive. Not that this has ever happened...but I felt I might as well set the ground rule before it does.
The final resolution. John Locke from Lost said: "Who are we to tell anyone what they can or can't do?" I want you to remember this...and apply it to yourselves, especially in relation to me. In fact, let me add a few terms "Should or shouldn't", "have to", "want to (unless it's a question)" and "Like or don't like to(unless it's a question)". I may have left a few out but basically - don't tell me what to do. I will do what I like and whatever I think benefits the collective. Read that again. What I think benefits the collective. Unless I ask you for your opinion, I don't give a damn about what you think benefits the collective. And for those of you telling me the university of Malta is great. BULLSHIT! You only have a right to say that if you've actually been there. And not a single person who has has told me that. So, to the rest of you who have never been in a course...not even part-time at the very minimum - SHUT UP! You don't know what it's like, so mind your own fucking business. And don't make excuses or invent sob stories - EVERYONE CAN GO! I don't care what Mintoff did...Mintoff lost power in the mid-80's and Mifsud Bonnici in 1987...since then you've all had the opportunity. Why you didn't take it,is probably more of a reflection on yourselves than on destiny. This applies to everything, not just university, of course, but until you've experienced it yourself - you have NO RIGHT to tell me what it's like. I've been there. I AM there even when I'm not physically there. SO ENOUGH! A final point on this university thing because it really gets under my shorts. People who say "You never gave it a chance...". WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I'M DOING NOW?? Walking there and walking back? Pretending I'm going? I gave it a chance...with low expectations. It didn't even meet those expectations so, as usual, I was proven right! Is the only way for me to be giving it a chance, to be proved wrong? I went with the same expectations for De La Salle Sixth Form but I was proven very wrong. The same cannot be said about university.
I realise I might as well have given the university its own blogpost...but it hardly seem worthy. Please...readers, abide by these resolutions. For your own good...and my own health.
Well...I guess this is Darryl, from Malta - Online hoping you'll have a happy new year...because I sure as hell won't.
Ps. Incidentally, the batch I mentioned above have just entered 2009. Next in line is Norfolk Island, 23 minutes away.
Labels: homesexuality, New Year, university
posted by Darryl | 12:19 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home